


I'm Here Because I Want To Be

by luvinreallife



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Apex Legends, Comfort, F/F, Sickfic, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:20:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25459966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvinreallife/pseuds/luvinreallife
Summary: I wrote this before i shipped lobalore bye omfgLoba is sick and doesn't take care of herself, leads to her throwing up in the bathroom. But Wraith is there to help her.Some lines are thoughts and i had them italicized but when i pasted the words they werent anymore and idk how to work this website on the computer ok thanks i hope you enjoy love you all ok bye <3
Relationships: Loba Andrade/Wraith | Renee Blasey
Comments: 11
Kudos: 30





	I'm Here Because I Want To Be

**Author's Note:**

> Hi lovelies so i know its not lobalore ;/ sorry to disappoint. this fic is old and i just dont know what to write rn.  
> but have this fic anyway. and hello i love making sick loba dream about her parents im horrible

She feels strangely peaceful. The kind of peace she hasn’t known since she was 9 years old. Peace that she will never know again.

She looks around the room, a blurry yet familiar mirage of her childhood bedroom.

There is a sound coming from her right and her eyes move to find the source of the noise.

“Mama,” she whispers.

Her mother’s hand comes to her cheek, gently touching her.

“I love you, Loba. Always.”

Loba was about to say more, tell her mother how she missed her, how sorry she was that she couldn’t have helped. Then, the figure of her mother and the comforting feeling she brought disappeared.

—

Her eyes opened to the ceiling of her apartment. Her hand traveled up to her eyes, and recoiled at the wetness she felt.

She hastily wiped the tears from her face and upon trying to sit up, remembered why she was sleeping in the middle of the damn day.

Loba HATES being sick.

After angrily pushing her blankets off of her, she swung her feet over the side of the bed and forced herself to stand up, resulting in vertigo she hadn’t noticed before this moment. Leaning up against the bed, she steadied herself.

Get a grip, girl.

She sighed and moved to go to the bathroom but shortly after she had to stop again. Her body doubled over as she coughed so harshly that it gagged her. She took slow deep breaths until she felt that she had her shit together, then walked into the bathroom.

Her eyes widened at the sight in the mirror. At least now she knew she wasn’t being dramatic. For how bad she felt, she looked a few times worse. Her complexion was a pale and sorry version of her usual tanned skin. The deep pink flush of her cheeks and the dark circles under her eyes were the sole sources of color.

Charming.

She turned around with all intentions of going back to sleep until the dehydration registered in her brain and she was super thirsty all of a sudden.

The only thing she did know is she didn’t have water left in her apartment and that means she would have to go get it. And that means she would potentially be seen and someone could ask her what’s wrong and..

Damn it!

It was times like this she wished she had someone. Someone, anyone, who would help her the few times she admitted to needing help. She tried, and failed, to blink the tears away. Loba gave up and let herself sink to the floor and cry. She rested her face on the cold tile and bawled until the tears stopped coming out. She would never normally dirty herself on the floor, especially from an activity as silly as crying, but she blamed it on the fever.

Being alone hasn’t stopped me before, she argued to herself as she slowly got up and went to the door. The walk to the legends kitchen was relatively short but her normally confident strides were reduced to slow, sickly stumbles as she moved.

She hated this, hated showing weakness to people. Especially people who don’t even like her.

She got her water and was on her way out when she heard footsteps coming.

Well, isn’t this just great, she thought, pure rage building inside her at the fact that someone is about to see her sick and vulnerable.

“Oh. Hey, Loba..” came a timid voice from behind her.

“Hey.” Loba replied and immediately realized it was the first time she had talked aloud today and her hoarse voice was a dead giveaway. She cleared her throat and kept walking.

“Are you ok?”

Loba stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes narrowed as she turned around slowly, surprised to see concern painted on the smaller woman’s face.

Wraith must have seen the distrust on hers, she quickly followed with, “I was just asking. You don’t have to tell me,” and raised her hands in a defensive manner.

The anger that previously surged was replaced with a warm feeling that spread throughout her.

“I’m fine... but.. thank you.” Loba said, looking anywhere but at Wraith herself.

“Umm.. you’re welcome. Feel better.” The last part came out more soft than her previous sentences, and a flush similar to Loba’s spread across her face. Before Loba could even reply, Wraith was gone, the only trace left of her being there the blue dust from the void.

She shook her head slightly at the weird conversation that just happened.

However, on the walk back to her room she supposed that she was.. glad to have encountered Wraith. It was better than running into Bangalore or even worse...

Him.

She shivered at the thought, the mere thought of him brought a sour taste to her mouth.

God damn bastard.

She stopped her mind before it got to thinking further.

Once she opened the door to her apartment, she went straight for the bedroom. She sipped her water the whole walk back to her bed. She laid down, sighing in relief as the blissful cold of her bed welcomed her. Her relief did not last long, a nasty coughing fit left her breathless and her head pounding. Luckily, it was not long until the darkness of sleep pulled her under.

—

She startled awake out of a dreamless and dark sleep. The blaring sound coming from her phone obviously the culprit that interrupted her slumber. She felt around until she grabbed her phone. The bright light coming off the screen blinded her and she inhaled sharply. Her cough was back with a vengeance and hurt her chest and made her headache worse as it tore through her.

UGH!

Her chest felt heavy, her head was still throbbing, she was congested and uncomfortably warm. But she had games to go to today. Loba reluctantly dragged herself out of bed and again, was welcomed with vertigo that left her wanting to crawl back under the covers and never leave. She made her way to her bathroom to get ready and was confronted by her sickly reflection.

After brushing her teeth, she began putting on a full face of makeup and hoped that it would be enough to cover the signs that she wasn’t feeling well. When she was done, she looked relatively normal and that was good enough for her sick ass. She went to the closet and changed into a comfortable fit.

With one last sigh and 2 ibuprofen she was out the door and preparing herself for the full day of games that lay ahead.

__

Loba could have ended up with worse teammates. For once, she was not complaining to be next to Mirage, who, yes, annoyed her with his never ending commentary, but was better than someone who would be standoffish with her. The other teammate was Wraith, who she had no issues with at the moment.

She had her forehead leaned against the cool glass of a window in the drop ship. Suddenly the small amount of comfort she had managed to find dissipated when her breath caught and resulted in her coughing harshly into her shoulder. Her cheeks burned with humiliation and lack of oxygen. Refusing to meet the stares she felt burning into her, she leaned her head back against the glass.

—

Loba’s eyes snapped open and her hands flew up to protect herself, when she saw Wraith looking more scared than herself, she dropped her combative stance and sighed, annoyed that she had even let herself fall asleep in the first place. She cleared her throat to subdue the feeling of having to cough.

“Sorry.” Wraith looked at the ground sheepishly, “we’re about to drop.”

Loba gave another exasperated sigh, when would she learn that sighing made her cough, and she stood up after catching her breath, ignoring her muscles screaming at her to sit back down. She was in for a long day.

—

She wasn’t doing her best. Obviously.

But that doesn’t mean that she wasn’t trying.

She barely managed to kill Pathfinder while Mirage took out Bloodhound and Wraith got Octane from behind. It had been a hard fight, only for her it seemed. Now only two squads remained. The battle commenced in the distance, sounds of bullets and grenades could be heard from here.

She wanted to give up and into the nauseating feeling she couldn’t shake. Or she wanted the Earth to split open and swallow her whole. A cough ripped its way up her throat and had her bending over from the force.

“Just us and them. Let’s go.” Wraith spoke and her expression was one of determination.

How Loba envied her energy right now.

She hadn’t even noticed that Mirage was watching her. She usually picked up on that kind of thing.

“Hey, umm, Loba. You’re.. not looking so good. Maybe after this game you should go home and rest.” He said cautiously but his eyes held a genuine concern she saw on Wraith yesterday.

“I’m fine. Let’s move.” She tried to ignore how her voice wavered when she talked, and it was clear that Mirage picked up on it too.

“No, really. You shouldn’t push yourself too hard or-”

He was cut off as she shoved past him.

“I told you, I’m fine Elliot. Let’s go! Now.” Loba’s tone of finality left no room for argument. She’ll be fine. She knows it. Or die trying to convince them she is.

“Ok. I’m not taking this to heart you know, I know how people get cranky when they don’t feel good.”

She wanted to turn around and slap the shit out of him, but realized it would take more energy than it would be worth. And she started coughing again, so she didn’t even have the strength to do it if she really wanted to.

Wraith called out that there was a sniper. Right after the words left her mouth, the 2 other members dropped from above. Mirage and Wraith immediately starting attacking, but Loba found herself falling to the ground with a halfhearted yelp as she was shot in the shoulder from the sniper.

She heard the fighting going on around her. She wanted to be alert and she would do anything to be able to be up and making a difference right now. But now with her horrible headache that worsened from her shoulder and how tight her chest was and the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach, she just couldn’t. She was coughing again, rough and tearing through her. Every breath hurt and felt like it was closing her airways more and more.

Finally after what felt like forever of laying downed on the floor, the champion was announced over the speaker. They had won, but it felt like a petty victory to Loba considering she couldn’t even pull herself up off the ground to celebrate.

—

The familiar rhythm of machinery beeping woke her up. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked around the medbay. Loba was definitely surprised to see Wraith sleeping in a chair near the bed. She hadn’t expected anyone to care enough to... stay with her. The voices must have alerted Wraith because she woke up suddenly and bolted upright.

“Oh, you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

The wet cough she got in response was a decisive enough answer, and she was courteous enough to look away until the other woman stopped coughing and steadied her breathing. Loba felt a rush of nausea and put her hand over her mouth as she got up to the bathroom that was, conveniently, only a short walking distance from the bed she was in.

She fell on her knees in front of the toilet and proceeded to vomit the advil and water she had earlier. She bent down into the toilet bowl, succumbing to the unpleasant demands of her stomach. It burned her nose and throat as it splashed into the water below. She was gasping for air in between retches and flinched when she felt warm hands on her back. Wraith was quick to shush her and began softly rubbing her back.

She lurched forward, this time mostly bile. It hurt to bring up, tears clung to her dark lashes and new ones formed in the corners of her eyes. She felt a hand come close to her face and brought her braids back behind her, saving them from being covered in mess.

Humiliation had her face burning hotter than the fever.

I want to end this with at least a shred of my dignity left.

“Go.” She tried to say more but was cut off by a dry heave. “Go. Please.” Her voice came out more clear but was quiet and weak from the acid burning her throat on its way up.

“No,” Wraith replied firmly. “You’re too sick to be alone right now.”

Loba gave a weak groan in response before she was forced forward again and gagged on what she hoped was the last of her stomach contents. She coughed and that led to dry heaving until she could calm down.

Through the echoing sounds of her own sickness, she heard Wraith’s soft whispers, words of encouragement and reassurance, that, combined with the physical comfort, brought her to tears again for an all different reason. She opened her eyes and let the tears stream out and down her face. Her breaths were thick gasps, wet with mucus and bile.

“Hey,” the hushed voice broke through the fog that had settled in Loba’s brain. “You’re shaking.”

Wraith was right, she realized. Her frame was trembling with such force from her sobbing and stomach happenings.

God, this is humiliating.

When she felt she had no more to give to the toilet, her shaking hand came to her bile-slick chin and wiped it off. She rested her forehead on the cool porcelain and let the quiet sobs continue, accepting defeat. She accepted the loss of pride, too, and was very much embarrassed at the fact that this lady had seen her sick, crying and puking all in a 24 hour span. But what made her feel better was the warm little hands that never left her back.

“Thanks,” she began, voice hoarse and breaking. “For staying. You didn’t have to.”

But I’m glad you did.

“No problem. I stayed because I wanted to.”

The only response was a choked sob.

“What’s wrong?” Wraith asked, concern laced into her tone. Loba just shook her head, still weeping quietly. She put her hand on the side of the sick woman’s face and quietly said, “Look at me.”

Loba obeyed and slowly turned to face Wraith. She looked like hell. Her face was still pale except the deep pink of her cheeks and nose, her eyes were red, swollen and full of tears, her nose was streaming and she still had a tendril of bile on the corner of her mouth. Wraith brought both her thumbs up to Loba’s face and wiped her tears. She left her hand to rest on her cheek and brought the other to cup the back of her head, and slowly brought her down toward her chest. Loba followed and all but melted into her. Wraith began petting the top and side of her hair and held her. It felt like they had sat like this for a long time, but was only the better part of 15 minutes. Loba pulled back and opened her mouth to say something, but her words fell short when Wraith brought her finger to Loba’s lips.

“Shh. Save your voice. I’m here because I want to be.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, thank you. I really appreciate it.”

Wraith just gave her a soft smile.

“I know. Let me help you get back to your room.” She got to her feet and helped Loba stand up.


End file.
